Goodbye Sweet Kaylee

I write this with tears streaming down my face. Our precious Kaylee girl is gone.

When I woke this morning and saw her, I knew that she was not going to recover. The sickness she's been battling since October has taken its toll on her body, despite every measure on ours and the vet's part to save her.

Sweet, loving and dear till the end, Claire and I took her to the vet one last time as her breath became shallower with each minute.

The vet confirmed that her body was shutting down, and that it was time to ease her pain.

The sorrow in my heart is so very deep tonight. I feel empty, like that square outside of the vet's office after we said our goodbyes to our sweet little pup. Claire and I sat there for more than an hour, sobbing in her car as we wept for the passing of our dear Kaylee.

Words just can't express how deeply she was woven into our hearts. I recognize that not everyone feels that deeply about their pets, but for us, Kaylee was a part of our family -- a loving, giving, darling part, who made our lives happier and richer for 7 1/2 years.

While sitting there grieving, Caleb sent me this photo, which I hadn't known he'd taken when we had FaceTimed earlier in the day so that he, Haley and Charlie could say goodbye to Kaylee.

Seeing my hand there on her brings more tears, but also reminds me of how dear she was right until the end.

When Kaylee first got sick in October, I prayed that she would make it until Christmas, so that she could be there when all her "kids" with their kids came home for the holidays. She made it through that time, and was such a sweetheart with all the boys during their week here. I'm so glad they knew her.

My next prayer was that she'd make it through JV Winter Academy, during the week when I was taking care of the boys. And she made it through that week too, making us laugh and giving of herself as they loved on her with lots of hugs and cuddles!

My last prayer for her, as it turned out to be, was that she would make it until we got home from the States. I really couldn't bear the thought of her passing without me here. I will be forever grateful to the Lord for hearing my cry and answering mercifully. I did make it home, and I had two precious days with Kaylee before saying goodbye.

My heart and emotions are very raw tonight. I miss her profoundly.

She was my last "baby", the one who saw me through when my last human baby, Claire, left for college. Kaylee helped me transition into "empty nest". She was my constant companion, the one who taught me about unconditional love, and who welcomed me home again and again with her affection and delight, each time I had to travel throughout these years.

Tears roll down my cheeks and I ache with grief tonight. I am trying to remember all the happy days with her, like frisky walks in the sunshine where she trotted beside me, happy to be our dog.

But in all honesty, it's hard to let her go. I loved this little furry girl with all my heart, and I'm deeply sad that she is not here in our home anymore.

Pray for me, that God will bring the comfort that I know He will. I just need those prayers.